A Mom’s Guide to Enjoying (or just surviving) a Family Roadtrip

Rise & Shine!

SUGGESTED: Get up before everyone else. Take a shower. Put on make up. Sit and eat breakfast and drink a cup of coffee while you read your Bible.

OR: Roll out of bed after hitting the SNOOZE button 3 times. Hit the highlights with some deodorant and throw the hair into a ponytail. Grab a pack of crackers and a bottled water.

Packing the Car

SUGGESTED: Play some fun music while everyone grabs a bag or two and takes them out to Dad. Dad smiles, laughs, and maybe even sings as he packs the car while frequently commenting on how roomy & spacious your vehicle is.

OR: Yell at the kids for yelling at each other. Roll your eyes at your husband when he asks for the 10th time: how do we have this much stuff?

Hitting the Road

SUGGESTED: Take turns playing songs on the radio. Enjoy playing iSpy or 20 questions and laughing together.

OR: Insist on playing your AudioBible app so you can listen to your daily Bible reading (because, no, you didn’t read it earlier this morning) and pray that the Scripture coming through the car speakers calms the feral children in the back seat. Then try not to roll your eyes when your husband says, “ya know, I’d really like some coffee. Let’s stop for coffee. Then we can travel until lunch.”

Traveling Until Lunch

SUGGESTED: Alternate activities to keep the kids entertained. Conversations, car games, making up imaginary stories, telling jokes, etc.

OR: Thank God for devices and headphones, which all 3 kids own. Actually enjoy an uninterrupted convo (or argument) with your husband. Then try not to get angry when he says, “I shouldn’t have had that coffee. I’m not gonna make it until lunch. We gotta stop soon.”

Grabbing Lunch

SUGGESTED: Ask for suggestions for a lunch location. Take a vote if necessary. Find a compromise and stop at the agreed upon location. Everyone helps each other unload and the kids hold the doors for one another. Lunch is ordered and obtained without incident and everyone enjoys a fast food lunch together.

OR: Argue about where to go to lunch. Dad ends up making the decision and says, “We’re going to ____________. You can either eat or not.” Dad’s selected fast food establishment gets everyone’s order totally wrong, and the only thing worse than the food is the condition of the restrooms. 

Back in the Saddle Again

SUGGESTED: After lunch, everyone loads back in the car. The kids thank you for lunch and everyone (except the driver, of course) drifts into a sleepy silence.

OR:  You, your spouse, and all the grumpy passengers pile back into the car. Not 2 minutes down the road, the youngest announces she forgot to go to the bathroom while the oldest hollers “SHOOT! I just spilled my Dr. Pepper.” You ask your husband to grab napkins (because you keep stacks of napkins in the driver’s side door for situations just like this). He sputters and swerves as he tries to reach the napkins. “How am I supposed to drive and find napkins at the same time? This isn’t safe.” He says a few more choice words, grabs a stack of napkins, flings them backward and says, “that’s ridiculous. You have enough napkins in here to choke a horse.”

Arrival at your Destination

SUGGESTED: You finally arrive at your destination. Your kids cheer and thank Dad for the safe journey. They get out of the car, stretch, smile, and wait patiently to help unload.

OR: You finally arrive. The instant you pull into the driveway, the kids spill out, kicking each other and yelling at each other. They disappear before you can even exit the car. The extended family comes out to greet you, commenting on how late you are. You exchange hugs all around and they ask about your trip. In response, you smile, exchange a quick glance with your husband and say, “We’re just really glad to be here.”

Summer Goals

In case you’re not aware, I’m a super-Type-A planner and over-thinker. I keep a paper calendar on my desk, a digital calendar in my phone, and a dry erase calendar on our fridge. And usually, every single little calendar square for every single day is filled up with events and appointments. And because most of those events and appointments require advance prep, I’m constantly thinking ahead.
What does this afternoon look like?
Who has to be where, when?
What deadlines do I have this week?
What little things do I need to accomplish today in order to be ready for tomorrow?

It never ends. Most of the time, my mental prep is helpful. It keeps me (us!) ready and on track. Without it, I’m pretty certain we’d arrive embarrassingly late (if at all!) to everything with somebody missing their pants or shoes or something. But as helpful as it is, I have to admit, the mental prep load is heavy. And continuous. And exhausting. 

Though I’m not proposing a life without a calendar (or 3), I am ready to step back and relax a little. I’m currently reading a book by Annie Downs called That Sounds Fun, and it’s reminded me that summer offers the perfect opportunity to take a deep breath, relax, and slow down. 

A few days ago, I wrote down a few simple summer goals. (No, this is not something I do yearly. I probably should, but I don’t. But in an effort to be more intentional…)
You’ll notice the goals are written like I’m talking to myself. (This is something I do often… talking to myself. Sometimes you just need some good advice! LOL!) Anyway, here we go. Back to it…. My summer goals: 

• S L O W  down. 

• Pay attention to the in-between, not just the daily “destinations”

• Relax! Smile! Have fun! Enjoy being home. For that matter, enjoy being wherever you are!

My summer goals aren’t super spiritual or deep or profound, but I’m honest enough to admit that these goals are going to take some work for me to achieve. (Which is kinda backwards, to think that slowing down takes intention and work, but such is life when you’re a Type A momma.) Since I’ve written these goals down, I’ve made myself re-read them each morning, just as a reminder as I start each day. So I was pleasantly surprised (but not really, because… #God) when my quiet time reading today was Psalm 37. Psalm 37, as a whole, contrasts the life of the righteous against the life of the wicked. But today, verse 3 in particular caught my attention: 

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. (Psalm 37:3)

Look at those verbs! Trust. Dwell. Enjoy. I realized these align perfectly with my summer goals, so I took some time to dig deeper into this passage.

“Trust in the Lord and do good.”

This seems pretty simple, but how often do we complicate life waaay past just trusting God and obeying Him? I may wear lots of hats and answer to many different names each day, but when I boil it all down, I really just have 1 job in life: love God and love others. That’s it. 

“Dwell in the land”

I love that word dwell. It means to settle down and abide. To rest and relax. To bloom where you’re planted. To love your portion so much that there’s no room in your heart for discontent. If we can do that, everything else in life will be much more enjoyable.

“Enjoy safe pasture.”

Now this is an interesting phrase. The ESV puts it this way: “cultivate or befriend faithfulness.”

Let’s take this phrase in two parts.

First, The verb here, enjoy or cultivate, is the Hebrew word ra’a. It means to tend or shepherd a flock or to pasture a flock. To pasture - that’s an action (a verb), not a thing or place (a noun). The verb “to pasture a flock” includes the intentional actions of a shepherd to find a safe, restful spot for his flock, to lead them there, and then to protect them while they eat and rest. A pasture (the noun) is a place of abundance and safety and rest, but the act (verb) of pasturing a flock is definitely not passive. It’s active. So the first part of this phrase, whether you translate it enjoy or cultivate or befriend or pasture, denotes an intentional action that requires effort.

The second part of this phrase, “cultivate or befriend faithfulness,” is a bit more straightforward. The Hebrew word emuna used here means firmness, fidelity, steadfastness or steadiness. So this verse tells us to enjoy, cultivate, befriend, or pasture faithfulness so that our life and faith reflect a consistent pattern of steadiness, as if we were built on a rock. (Hmmm… seems like I’ve heard that somewhere before…)

So now put the pieces of verse 3 together… “Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness” When translated into Haileynese, it sounds something like this:

Settle in and live securely in Yahweh. Walk with complete confidence in His love and plan.

Rest, relax & enjoy what God has given you. Put down roots where He’s placed you.

And while you’re there, be steady. Be faithful. Let your life be marked by consistency, loyalty, and integrity.

Love God and love people with the same purpose and passion every day. Work to stay content and steady.

So now, I guess my summer goals are kinda spiritual. Maybe even super spiritual. Isn’t it cool how God is faithful to guide and mold our hearts to want the same things He wants for us? Funny how that works. Kinda reminds me of another verse, which happens to also be in Psalm 37:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

For an Unbelieving Friend

I know you don’t think much of religion

and

I know you don’t want anyone to push or pressure you.

but also

I know you’re hurting.

I know you’ve searched for solutions and satisfaction and peace 

and

I know you haven’t found it. 

And you won’t ever find it - not solutions, not satisfaction, not peace

until

You know Jesus. 

I’m not saying the Jesus Way is easy

and 

I’m not saying the Jesus Way instantly fixes everything.

but

I am saying He’s the only one who stays

and

sees

and 

knows.

So answer this:

What would it hurt to give it a try?

To give it a whirl - the Jesus Way. 

I mean

Is your way working?

Have you found any other way that works?

And imagine this:

What if He really is all He says He is?

What if He can do everything He says He can do?

What if He really is the resurrection and the life?

What if life lived His way is life truly and fully LIVED?

You just might find that

His way

Is the only way

You haven’t yet tried and

His way

Is the only way 

That works. 

Your anxiety and exhaustion and broken heart

say

You have little to lose. 

His forgiveness and love and faithfulness

say
You have oh so much to gain.

My Full Circle Moment

Last week, on April 16th, 2025, my oldest started driving with his learner’s permit. Although he’s already a pretty good driver, sitting in the passenger seat watching him drive my suburban made me feel pretty helpless. (You can read about it HERE.) And it was at that moment that I reflected back to another April 16th 15 years ago…

On April 13th, 2010, our oldest son, Jackson (Bird), was born. Except for a bit of jaundice, he was healthy, we were happy, and we headed home from the hospital on the evening of the 16th.

That evening while sitting on the couch holding my new baby, I noticed that every few minutes, he would have a series of jerks or tremors on one side of his body. The more I watched, the more it happened. As new parents, we definitely weren’t baby experts, but we kinda felt like this wasn’t normal, so Jacin and I loaded Jackson in the car and returned to the hospital.  

They immediately admitted him to a room and started monitoring him. We waited HOURS for the doctor to arrive, all while holding our newborn and watching him jerk uncontrollably. I’ve never felt anything like it before or since. I was totally helpless. Everything in me wanted to fix it, to make it stop. I felt that if I could somehow trade places with my baby - let him escape his body so I could crawl into it - I would do it in a heartbeat. 

Jacin and I sat and prayed aloud, asking God to make it stop. We quoted Scripture. We declared our faith that God could and would fix this.

But it continued.

In the middle of the night, the doctor finally showed up and confirmed that Jackson was having seizures. After several scans and tests, the doctor explained that Jackson, our 3 day old baby, had bleeding on his brain. The situation was concerning and was beyond what this local hospital could handle. Emergency transportation was on its way to take us to Children’s Hospital of Atlanta - Scottish Rite. 

All at once, the world completely stopped while time spun wildly around me. I felt like I was frozen in place but falling.

Why?

How?

What does this mean?

Will he be ok?

HOW CAN WE FIX IT?!?!

So many questions, but no answers. The CHOA ambulance arrived and the paramedics started packing us up for transport. The last step was to start an IV in Jackson’s tiny arm in case they needed it on the road. Despite the paramedics being pediatric specialists, it still took them several attempts to get the IV in. I just sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks while my baby screamed. I couldn't fix it. I couldn’t do ANYTHING to make it better. I was completely helpless.

We climbed in the ambulance, Jackson in the back with the paramedics, me in the front with the driver, and Jacin following behind in his truck. The whole way to Atlanta, I fought back tears and nausea. I listened to Jackson cry. I prayed. And I texted people like crazy, asking them to pray. 

After arriving at CHOA, we were set up in a room and Jackson endured more scans and tests. Neurologists explained that basically, Jackson had experienced something similar to a stroke. Yes, there was bleeding on his brain. Yes, that was causing pressure and seizures. But the good news was the bleeding seemed to be slowing and resolving itself. We spent several long days in the hospital getting Jackson acclimated to seizure medication. Jacin and I took turns sleeping at the hospital or showering and sleeping at my parents’ house. Both sets of our parents stayed nearby, bringing us food and keeping us company. This wasn’t how I had imagined spending our first few days of parenthood. 

I’ll never forget one morning at CHOA, Jacin walked in the room, returning from a night at my parents’ house. He sat down on the bed next to me, holding Jackson, and said, “Ya know, I’ve never understood those people who hold their hands up in the air singing or praying. I’ve always thought it was strange. But I get it now.” Jacin told me about standing in the shower the night before, letting the hot water beat on his face while he cried and prayed. He explained how, eventually, he had prayed everything he knew to pray, and he felt like the only thing left to do was to surrender - to let go and let God. “I just raised my hands up in the air, right there in the shower,” he said with teary eyes. “And I don’t know what’s going to happen or what’s coming next, but I know God has it.” 

Jacin had been feeling helpless, too, and feeling helpless led him straight to The Helper. 

After several days in the hospital, we were released to go home. We still didn’t have answers as to why or how it happened. Jackson was on new seizure medication, and we weren’t sure what the future held. Could it happen again? Would there be long-term effects from this stroke? Would he battle seizures the rest of his life? 

So many questions, but not many answers. During Jackson’s first few years of life, we went through monthly Hematologist and Neurologist visits and annual MRIs in Atlanta. Even after all of that, no one ever found a solid explanation or cause for the brain bleed. I guess we’ll never know. But one thing I do know - well, three things actually…

1. God answers prayers.

2. God heals.

3. God never wastes our moments of helplessness. 

Today, Jackson has absolutely no residual complications from his brain bleed. He’s been off seizure medication and seizure free for 13 years. It’s like the stroke never happened.

Except it did.

Jacin and I have the emotional scars to prove it… scars from wounds inflicted by helplessness and hurt, but covered and healed by the only Helper we’ll ever need. 

So it was fitting that on April 16, 2025, as I helplessly watched my 15-year-old pilot my suburban dangerously close to the edge of the road, I remembered that same helpless feeling from another April 16th, 15 years ago. It was a full-circle moment. That baby boy with a brain bleed is now the young man driving my car. What a beautiful reminder that God sees, knows, and has a plan for our helplessness. He never wastes a moment, and He helps, heals, and redeems.

Ditch Diving (Almost)

There’s not much worse than a feeling of complete and utter helplessness.

Ever been there?

Ever felt it?

Helpless is when you’re intimately involved in a situation, and directly affected by the outcome, but you have absolutely no control or influence over the course of events.

That’s exactly how I felt on my way home from school today - helpless - and it made me remember feeling the exact same way on this exact day 15 years ago. April 16th is a day I’ll never forget (and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with taxes). 

Before I rewind to 2010, let me tell you about today. Today, my oldest (I call him “Bird”) got his learner’s driving permit. He was excited, I was excited, everything was great. About half way home from school this afternoon, once we were out of heavy traffic, I pulled over at a gas station and swapped spots with him. He slid in the drivers’ seat, buckled up, adjusted the seat and the mirrors, and put it in drive. He did a great job turning out of the gas station and things went pretty smoothly down our local rural highway. He made the left turn onto our road like a pro, and home was just a few miles away. 

One thing I forgot to warn him about, however, is that our two-lane road, which winds between older homes and fields of cows, is much more narrow than the highway he had just driven on. 

Back in the day, I learned to drive in my mom’s large, white conversion van. (Yes, it was just as cool as you’re imagining. The backseat unfolded to make a huge sleeping space, the middle seats were captains chairs that rivaled most recliners, and we had a panel of “mood lights” running down the center of the interior ceiling. No, we didn’t live in it, but we could have.) I vividly remember feeling like that van took up the entire road and struggling to “hug” the middle yellow line so I wouldn’t wipe out mailboxes on the right side. With those memories on my mind, I was impressed how quickly Bird seemed comfortable driving my white Suburban (or “suburbus” as Bird calls it). 

Just when it seemed that Bird’s maiden voyage in the “suburbus” would be easy peasy, lemon squeezy, another car appeared in the opposite lane, coming towards us. It was at that moment that Rock Creek Road suddenly seemed super narrow. I started wondering how in the world both my suburban and the coming car would both fit. Doing my best to give instructions quickly but calmly, I said, “Buddy, just keep going, just like you are. The road might feel small, but you’re just right. Keep going.” He seemed fine until the car started passing us. 

I could almost hear his brain yelling at him “TOO CLOSE! TOO CLOSE! That car is TOO CLOSE!” as he steadily moved the steering wheel to the right, away from the center of the road. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much asphalt left on the right side of the road, and it dropped off into a beautiful green, grassy ditch. The life of my suburban flashed before my eyes. The further right we went, the closer we got to the edge of the road, the clearer I could see my suburban off-roading and lying on its side in the ditch. 

It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to say anything, but I did somehow have time to throw my body towards the center console of the car, as if getting away from the door (and ditch) would somehow save me (and my car).

It’s funny how time passed so quickly - it all happened in a matter of mere seconds - but my brain seemed to think calm, slow, profound thoughts: 

I am completely helpless. I can’t reach the wheel or the brake. I cannot do anything to fix this.  Is this what my parents felt when I started driving? We are going ditch diving and I can’t do a dang thing about it. I have given complete control of this car and our lives to my 15 year old son. Who thought this was a good idea?

I swear, each of those thoughts ran across my mind like a text ticker across the bottom of a TV screen.

But God bless it, just as the car passed us and my suburban’s wheels were skirting the asphalt’s edge, Bird sensed he was drifting too far over and quickly righted us. I slowly leaned back over to the center of my seat and sat there in silence as he drove on.

About 60 seconds later, as he was turning into our driveway, Bird looked over at me. 

“What??  You ok, Mom?” he asked.

“Yeah. I think my heart stopped, but it’s working again. We’re good. I’m good. Everything’s good. You did a good job. Good job,” I stammered, my hand on my chest and my eyes still wide.

He rolled his eyes and looked away, shaking his head, completely unaware of how close we had just come to laying the suburban down on its side;
completely unaware of the mental and emotional crisis I had just experienced;
completely unaware of the threshold of maturity he and I had both just crossed over.

“You’re so weird,” he said, continuing to shake his head.

Bird didn’t know it, and I hadn’t seen it coming, but today, April 16, 2025, he took a step towards independence, and I entered a new era of parenthood. By letting Bird in the driver’s seat, I trusted him to make and execute choices that could potentially have enormous consequences. If I had thought about this ahead of time, I’m not sure I would have handed over the keys so willingly. (At the very least, we might have started smaller, like in an empty parking lot.) But in this case, I’m thankful for my impulsiveness (or irresponsible flippancy??), because it helped remind me that, as much as I love to be in control, I’m really not. It helped remind me that my role as a parent continues to change, from hands-on molding and hand-to-hand equipping, to hands-up releasing. 

I’m not rushing it; he’s only 15. It’s not like he’s moving out tomorrow. But still, this significant step towards independence for him and letting go for me hit me harder than I thought it would.

It’s exciting, though. Really, it is! Jacin and I are certainly not perfect parents, but we have invested an awful lot in this kid, and I’m pumped to watch all those investments pay off, even if it makes me lament my loss of control at times. Even if it leaves me feeling helpless.

And it’s fitting that today’s helplessness ushered me into this new season of parenting, because it was the same feeling of helplessness that welcomed me into parenting to start with 15 years ago. And that’s a story for another blog post… so stay tuned.

UPDATE: Bird is an excellent driver. He’s super cautious and comfortable, and he’s driving like a pro. In fact, he’s already backing in to parking spaces like he’s been doing it for years. (Pretty sure it took me about 5 years to learn how to go 2 feet in reverse.)

Giving with a Happy Heart

Generosity. It’s not something that comes naturally to most of us. In fact, straight out of the womb, we humans are pretty selfish, crying and throwing fits to get what we want, when we want it. Thanks to Adam and Eve, voluntarily giving away something of our own isn’t on our radar until God changes our hearts. Think about it: generosity is something we have to explicitly teach our kids because they don’t do it on their own. We start with the concept of sharing - “Be a good share bear!” and “Sharing is caring!” and “let go of that toy! It won’t kill you to share it with your brother for 2 minutes!”

My mom reports that, I, in all my toddler splendor, wasn’t such a great share bear. She says I was often known to say “I don’t much care to share.” And the truth is, I still don’t sometimes. And generosity? It’s a level up from sharing. Usually, sharing is giving up something of yours temporarily with the expectation of getting it back (eventually). Generosity, on the other hand, is sacrificing something of yours permanently, with no expectation of getting it back. See? Generosity is easy to talk about and put on a pedestal, but in reality, it’s tough. 

We talked about the concept of generosity in Sunday School this past week. We’re reading through the Old Testament, looking for hints of God’s character woven underneath all the rules and laws of the Torah. One essential element of God’s character we discovered in Deuteronomy 15 is… you guessed it!... generosity. In this section, God, through Moses, commands the Israelites to follow some surprising financial practices, one of which is the forgiving of debts. 

1 At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. 2 This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel any loan they have made to a fellow Israelite. They shall not require payment from anyone among their own people, because the Lord’s time for canceling debts has been proclaimed. (Dt 15:1-2)

Wow. Did you get that? Every seven years, they were to forgive and forget all debts. And if you’re like me, you’re thinking well, if that’s the case, then I wouldn’t loan anything to anyone. It’s just not a wise financial decision, especially if you’re not guaranteed to recoup your loan. 

It’s funny you should think that, because God follows up with these instructions: 

7 If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. 8 Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need. 9 Be careful not to harbor this wicked thought: “The seventh year, the year for canceling debts, is near,” so that you do not show ill will toward the needy among your fellow Israelites and give them nothing. (Dt 15:7-9)

God knew the hearts and minds of the Israelites, and He knows our hearts and minds, too. I think this Old Testament passage is a great reminder that God’s economy is waaaaaaayy different from the world’s economy. 

The world says more is better, so work, save, and spend!

God says you can’t take it with you, so invest in the eternal.

The world says you worked for it. Spend it on whatever you want.

God says it’s all His. You’re simply the steward of His stuff. 

The world says save, protect (even hoard!) your stuff.

God says be openhanded and give generously.

The world says having the most and best will make you happy. 

God says serving and giving will bring you joy. 

On that last one - serving and giving will make you happy - sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow. I mean, will selflessly serving others really make me joyful? Will generous giving really make me happy? 

Again, God anticipates this response. Let’s go back to verse 8:

8 Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need.

In Hebrew, this verse repeats the word for openhanded and the word for lend. So it reads something like: 

Rather be OPENHANDED openhanded, and LEND lend them whatever they need. 

Kinda awkward, but the repetition of words is meant to emphasize something. It’s like using the word EXTRA or VERY. It takes an action and levels it up in intensity. So God is telling His people to be EXTRA openhanded and lend with extravagance and enthusiasm. Understanding this deepens the meaning of the verse! The Israelites aren’t just to go through the motions of giving; they are also to posture their hearts for generosity. As my mom would say, they should give with “happy hearts.” 

Ok, wait. So now we’re back to linking giving with happiness or joy. What is God saying here?

 Is He saying that when we give we should be happy?
Or that giving will make us happy?
Or that happy people give? 

Yes. All of that. Let’s keeping reading:

10 Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; (Dt 15:10a)

God clearly commands them to give with a happy heart. But wait… there’s more here to uncover. The phrase “with a grudging heart” (NIV) or “so that your heart will not be grieved” (ESV) literally means “so your heart won’t be evil.” So, yes, they are commanded to give with happy hearts. But they are also commanded to give SO THAT their hearts are happy (or righteous and whole - not evil). 

You might need to read that again:

They are commanded to give with happy hearts.
And they are also commanded to give SO THAT their hearts are happy. 

You see, giving protects our hearts, keeping us righteous and whole. Generosity keeps us from harboring the sins of pride or selfishness. It helps us maintain proper perspective, reminding us that everything we have is God’s, not ours. Giving helps us focus on building God’s kingdom, not our own. 

So it is important to give generously with a happy heart (because after all, God does love a cheerful giver). But it’s equally important to give generously so that our heart stays happy. 

And it’s like a cycle - give so your heart will be happy - and your heart is happy so you give. (Wash, rinse, repeat.)

Now, this doesn’t mean giving won’t or can’t still be painful. Generosity is still tough sometimes. But that final part of verse 10 should provide the motivation we need: 

10 Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.

If there’s one thing the Torah explicitly teaches, it’s this:

Living in relationship with God brings BLESSING.

Living our own way brings CURSES.

Over and over again, the Old Testament shows that God created and saved us to be in relationship with Him. And when we are, we follow His commands. And when we do, we gradually look more and more like Jesus. And living and loving like Jesus enables us to take His message to the world around us.

That’s God’s master plan. And when we live in harmony with this plan, when we’re obedient to God’s commands and faithful to our relationship with Him, we will reap BLESSING.

So even though generosity isn’t always cupcakes and rainbows, generosity will bring blessing. And that makes my heart happy. Maybe even happy enough to share.

Lessons from the Wilderness (Part 2)

You know, it’s funny.

When we studied Exodus in Sunday School last month and I blogged about walking through the wilderness two weeks ago, I never could have known that a surprise trip through my very own wilderness was quickly approaching. I had no way to know that. I didn't see it coming. But God did. He knew. He always knows. 

Isnt’ that funny? Not funny like haha, like a good joke. Because the wilderness is definitely no joke. But funny like crazy, like the way God always works things together for our good and His glory. 

It’s funny. 

And everyone’s wilderness is different. Some walk through a wilderness of pain or illness. Others trudge through a wilderness of sorrow or loneliness or grief. Still others, like me, wander through a wilderness of waiting and questioning and waiting some more. (I won’t go into detail here, but if you want to read my response to my first night in the wilderness, check it out here.)

Whatever your wilderness looks like, God’s Word equips us for it. 

Many people aren’t sure of the purpose or importance of the Old Testament (you know, that front half of our Bibles). And while I don’t have the time, space or knowledge to fully explain it, I can confidently affirm that the accounts in the Old Testament reveal timeless truths about God’s character and the human heart - truths that don’t change with passing time or changing cultures. The Israelites’ liberation from Egypt and l o n g trek through the wilderness are perfect examples. If we take the time to study these, we learn many helpful “faith hacks” from these early wilderness wanderers. (In fact, there’s SO MUCH to learn, I’ve divided this topic into 2 separate posts. For wilderness lessons #1-5, see the Part 1 post here). 

So, without further adieu, let’s dive back in and discuss a few more lessons we can learn from the wilderness…

6. Beware! Complaining about wilderness circumstances is complaining about the God who put us there.

In chapter 16 of Exodus, the Israelites are in the Sinai desert without food. They’re hungry, tired, and stressed. I can completely understand why they start complaining to Moses. We’re starving! Where’s the milk and honey? The food we ate in Egypt was way better than the sand sandwiches we eat here! I totally get it. And apparently, God does, too, because he sends them manna. But not before Moses gives the people an important reminder: 

“Who are we that you should grumble against us?... You are not grumbling against us, but against the Lord.” (Ex 16:7 & 8) 

Whoa. Moses is not wrong. The Israelites are so wrapped up in all the negatives of their situation they forget one super important factor: God. He never leaves them. In fact, He’s guiding them. And He guides them right into this empty, foodless wasteland. So He sees and knows alllll about their challenges. And in complaining to Moses, the people inadvertently complain about their God who created, rescued, leads and sustains them. Ooops. We do this all the time. We complain about our circumstances, implying that God’s fallen asleep on the job, or that His plan is flawed, or that we know what we need better than He does. Moses is right - complaining about our circumstances is complaining about the God who created them (or allowed them, but that’s a topic for another day). This is why it’s crucial that we take every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor 10:5 ) and that we do everything without complaining or arguing (Phil 2:14).

7. God’s patient and persistent provision helps us know that He is Lord.

Over and over again in the books of the Torah, God provides and then tells the people why He does it - “so you may know that I am the Lord your God” (Ex 16:12) From manna and meat to water and forgiveness, God provides again and again for His people so that they can begin to know and trust His character. This is just the beginning of their relationship with YHWH. He wants them to know that He is very different from the little-g gods of the people surrounding them. And the primary way God teaches them about His unique character is meeting their needs. Every. Single. Time. He does this for us today, too, especially in the wilderness. Think about it… the wilderness is a place of leanness and lack. It’s sparse, and resources are scarce. Whatever your wilderness looks like, it’s rife with opportunities for God to meet your needs and show you how and why He is the Lord.

Plus, let’s notice one more thing about God’s provision in the wilderness: it’s persistent. It’s frequent. It’s repeated. It’s everything but one and done. God meets one need, but another always arises. He never eliminates all the challenges for the Israelites. He allows His people to continue needing so He can continue providing. It’s a continual cycle of need - ask- provide (wash, rinse, and repeat). This isn’t because God lacks the power to make life easy and carefree. Nope. It’s because He wants His people to keep coming back to Him for more.

More water.

More meat.

More guidance.

More protection.

More forgiveness.

More promises.

More relationship.

And they do, without fail! They keep coming back. Over and over again.

And God provides, without fail. He keeps meeting their needs. Over and over again.

And He does the same for us today.

8.  The Lord is faithful, even when His people are faithless

Those ridiculous Israelites. God rescues them, protects them, guides them, and provides for them again and again. In response, they FREAK OUT again and again. Their fear and discontent and grumbling and going their own way are all faithless attitudes and actions of people who don’t trust their God. It’s crazy! YHWH makes a covenant with them and makes promises to them all so He can be in a relationship with Him. Leading them into the wilderness is all about leading them to Himself. Guiding them with a pillar of cloud and fire and dwelling among them in the Tabernacle tent is all about being with them. The Israelites are God’s chosen covenant partners, and they cheat on Him. Repeatedly. They are completely faithless. At one point, they even melt their jewelry and worship it. Stupid on so many levels. And there are definitely consequences. God is jealous for them (not of them), and He doesn’t give up on His covenant partners without a fight.

But He’s also merciful.

He’s reliable.

He keeps His Word and honors His promises.

Even when the people yearn to return to slavery (ridiculous!) and complain about manna (really?!?) and rebel against Moses (I mean, COME ON!), God stays with them. He never leaves them. He keeps guiding and protecting and providing. That’s because of who He is. The one thing God cannot and will not do is be untrue to Himself. And He is the most perfect, faithful, true, merciful, loving covenant partner. Thank goodness! (because you and I are just as ridiculous as those Israelites, and God still loves us.)

Even when we’re learning and our faith is growing, the wilderness is still not much fun. But it’s important to remember (I’m talking to myself, here…) that wilderness seasons are chock full of God-ordained opportunities to get to know Him. So the wilderness is painful but important. It’s where our faith is formed and fired. It’s where we learn that our God is completely better (and superior) to anything or anyone this world has to offer. And when you think about it, if we didn’t have the wilderness, we’d never truly understand or appreciate peace or paradise, joy or fulfillment. It we didn’t have times of leanness and lack, we could never celebrate God as our endless source of abundance and plenty.

So strangely enough, I’m thankful for the wilderness.

Funny, huh?

The Door

It’s ok to grieve when the door closes.

It’s ok to stand, shut out and staring,

and sort through feelings of

rejection,

shock,

and resentment.

It’s ok to grieve when the door slams shut. 

It’s ok to pound the rough wood with your fists and shout,

“This isn’t fair!

It doesn’t make sense!

Why is this happening?!?!”

It’s ok to lean your forehead against the peeling paint and cry for

what you wanted,

what you waited for,

what you planned.

It’s ok to grieve when the door closes. 

It’s ok to lament the loss of the almost,

to be crushed under the ashes of a dream

disintegrating. 

It’s ok to feel like you’ve lost your way,

for panic to form a knot in your throat,

for your stomach to clinch at the uncertain future.

It’s ok to grieve when the door slams shut 

but you can’t stay there 

because God has another door. 

You might not know which one or

what it looks like or

where it’ll be or

when it’ll open 

but God has another door.

“How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.” Ps 31:9

It’s ok to shrug at the shutting and say,

“I don’t understand, but God does.”

It’s ok to turn around.

It’s ok to rest against the rough wood

and wait

and worship

until you know where to walk next. 

It’s ok to surrender the good

so your hands are

open

to receive what’s best.

It’s ok to not know and

just trust.

Because God has another door.

Yes,

but

a l s o

God IS the door.

“I am the door for the sheep; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out and find pasture.” Jn 10:9

Lessons from the Wilderness (Part 1)

We’ve been studying Exodus in Sunday School the last few weeks, and I’m just loving it! Maybe I’m just a nerd, but I find the Old Testament incredibly interesting. Plus reading about the stubborn stupidity of the Israelites makes me feel so much better about myself. (It’s similar to watching a few episodes of The Office to get your mind off your own crazy workplace. If you know, you know.)

After God used Moses to guide the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, they wandered in the desert wilderness for a good while. During this time of wilderness wandering, they learned a TON about who God is and how they were to live as His people. We, too, go through wilderness periods where we’re just spinning our wheels, going nowhere fast. Our spiritual lives may be dusty and dry, or we might be waiting for an answer to prayer or a change in circumstance. Our wilderness may not look exactly like the Israelites’, but we all go through times of uncomfortable waiting or even desperate need. When we do, we can look to Exodus to learn the lessons God taught the Israelites during their wilderness wandering. 

LESSON #1 Wandering in the wilderness may not be a punishment for sin or a result of our mistakes. Sometimes the wilderness is God-ordained. 

This was very much true for the Israelites. Exodus 15:22 and other places say that “Moses led Israel,” but Exodus 17:1 reminds us that Moses led them only as “the Lord commanded.” Through Moses, God led Israel out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, and into the wilderness where they wandered for 40 years. The wilderness was God’s idea. And though their time there might have been much shorter if they had faithfully obeyed, the Israelites never would have skipped out on the wilderness completely. God led them there. It’s where he wanted them to be. Some lessons are best learned in the wilderness. 

LESSON #2 God uses the wilderness to test us. It’s an opportunity to see what our faith is made of!

Exodus 15 says, “Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went to the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water” (15:22). They eventually came to a spring at Marah, but sadly, the water was undrinkable. This was no surprise for God. He had a plan to provide for them, but meanwhile, God “put them to the test” (15:25). Scripture actually says that. God tested them. He intentionally led the Israelites right into a situation where their high hopes were smashed to smithereens. He wanted to show them (and us) that true faith looks to Him when things get tough. (Side-note: the Israelites failed this test. Instead of looking to God, they complained to Moses. Despite their faithlessness, God still compassionately provided for them. Which leads us to Lesson #3!!!)

LESSON #3 There are good things in the wilderness! But we have to follow God to find them.

Sometimes when we’re in the wilderness, it seems like everything - every. single. little. thing. - goes wrong. After a while, it’s easier to just expect a piano to fall from the sky rather than get your hopes up that anything good will come. Bad Hair Days become the norm instead of the exception and the negativity rut becomes so deep it’s tough to climb out of. But Israel’s experience in the wilderness proves there’s hope. After being sorely disappointed at Marah, God, through Moses, leads them further into the wilderness where - SURPRISE!! - they discover Elim, which boasted “twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water” (Ex 15:27). Even in the midst of life’s disappointments and let downs, even in times of strife or uncertainty, we can KNOW that God has good planned for us right around the corner. 

LESSON #4 Warning! The wilderness can skew our perspective.  

Even though they had seen God split the sea for them, even though they had just rested in the flourishing oasis of Elim, the Israelites quickly forgot God’s provision. The further they walked and the hotter it got, the more their emotions overruled their faith. “In the desert, the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all of the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death!’” (Ex 16:2-3) To this I say: REALLY? Really? Back in Egypt you sat around? You had tons of leisure time to relax by the fire and cook food? Huh. And you say you had tons of meat, no less? Really? I doubt it. Friends, when’s the last time you heard of slaves relaxing around campfires laughing and roasting goat on a stick? The Israelites allowed the wilderness to skew their perspective. They allowed hardship to feed them lies about the past in order to justify their fear in the present. Don’t be dramatic, silly Israelites. It’s ok to be tired, hot, hungry, confused… all the things. It’s fine to dislike your current circumstances, but don’t fantasize about an ideal past that didn’t exist. Instead… well, just read Lesson #5!

LESSON #5:  The leanness of the wilderness makes it even easier to spot God’s faithful provision.

The Israelites whined. A lot. And we do, too. But man, God is SO amazingly patient with them (and us!). He answers their grumbling with manna, “bread from heaven” (Ex 16:4). There are lots of cool things about mana, but let’s focus on the fact that these flakes of grain were obviously straight from God. This daily dew-fall of sustenance wasn’t something that could be explained by the weather or any other strange natural phenomenon. And it certainly couldn’t be attributed to the work or resources of any human. Mana was new. Mana was weird. Mana was miraculous! And mana was from God. No question. They wouldn't have survived without it. It was exactly what they needed, exactly where and when they needed it. And because there were no other options or sources for food around, because they could not provide for themselves, God’s provision stole the spotlight. Though the wilderness isn’t a comfortable place to be, it is the perfect spot to watch God provide in miraculous ways. 

Which lesson do you need to learn the most right now?

Check out next week’s post for more lessons from the wilderness!

Building for the Wrong King

Ok, friends. I’ve been sitting on this one for a w h i l e. It’s been simmering and marinating and all those things, but my pot’s about to boil over. I can’t wait any longer. Get ready for a rant.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen several different graphics and memes on social media talking about some “new rules” for 2025. They’re all a bit different, but they all have one thing in common: absolute and ridiculous selfishness.

Here are just two of many examples:

One friend of mine posted:

“Rules for 2025:
Call who calls you
Visit who visits you
Ignore who ignores you.”

Another friend of mine posted: 
“I am no longer filling cups that do not fill mine.” 

So, in response to these posts and others like it, I say…

Really? REALLY?

First of all, folks, that’s super stupid. If we all lived by this mindset, then no one would call anyone. No one would visit anyone.  Everyone would ignore everyone. And no one would fill anyone else’s cup. Someone has to make the first move in order for you to reciprocate (or not). So if you’re planning on adopting this as your new life dictum this year (ya big dummy), then you’d better hope no one else is. Because if we all sit around waiting on everyone else to make the first move, it’s going to be a very quiet, lonely, empty-cup kind of year.

Second, this is one of the most immature things I’ve ever heard. It sounds like a toddler pouting, crossing her arms across her chest and stamping her foot. 
“He wasn’t nice to me, so I’m not gonna be nice to him.” 
Good grief. Would you like some cheese with that whine? Should we all get out our violins while you cry? 

GET A GRIP! Be the bigger person! Be confident enough, strong enough, forgiving enough, high-minded enough to look past other people’s mistakes and just be nice!  Who you are and how you treat people should never be dictated by how others treat you. There’s not a single one of us who’s perfect. So if you’re relying on other people’s behavior to inform your own living, you need to reevaluate your role models. Find someone who’s perfect to look up to. (Spoiler alert: there isn’t anyone. Just Jesus.)

Imagine if other people were doing the same thing you’re suggesting. What if others were watching you to decide how they should live? How would that work out? 

Self-centered.
Arrogant.
Compassionless.

Is this really the world we want?

Lastly, and most importantly, please realize that what you’re suggesting is that you, and all who agree with you, expect others to show you love while you refuse to show it to others. Doesn’t that kinda seem like a double standard? Plus, let’s just be honest: one-sided, conditional “love” isn’t really love at all. 

Jesus said it best a long time ago when he was teaching on a hillside: 
“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.
If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal?
Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity.
Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”  (Matt 5:43-48, The Message)

The world tells us that life is all about us. That we should only be about the people and things that make us happy. That we should love only those who love us first. That it’s ok to only love when it’s easy or convenient. But friends, that’s just not how love works! When we love the world’s way, we’re laser focused on building our own kingdom and sitting on the throne of our own lives. Just a heads-up: no one else wants to spend time in a kingdom ruled by that kind of self-centered, hard-hearted, tight-fisted king.

And by the way, the world doesn’t get to define love. In fact, it’s impossible to rightly understand and fully experience love apart from Jesus. The Bible tells us the only way we can even recognize, give, or receive love is because Christ loved us first (see 1 John 3:16). God is the author, perfector, and very first demonstrator of love. He’s like love’s OG. When we were (are!) unlovely, selfish, rebellious screw-ups, Jesus loved us (see Romans 5:8). He made the first move, despite who we were (and are).  Who are we, the undeserving recipients of abundant grace and never-ending love, to turn around and refuse to love others?

If we are truly Jesus followers, then Calvary Love is our standard. Sacrificing, giving of ourselves, being uncomfortable or inconvenienced in order to love others well - that’s love in Kingdom living. 

It’s not easy to love this way, but it’s kinda the basic goal in life - to become like Jesus. To live like He did. To love like He does. To build His kingdom, not yours, not mine.

If you’re  “loving” any other way, you’re building for the wrong king.

Let Them See You

In the fake, filtered world of Social Media, marriage is easy, skin is flawless, and children always behave in restaurants. But we know all too well that life is often quite different from the perfection portrayed on Instagram or TikTok. Like most of us, I too am guilty of sharing only the best bits and pieces of my life, attempting to make others (and myself!) believe I’ve got it all together. What’s worse, I often portray my faith with the same fake filter.

But the truth is that faith in Jesus - real living and breathing faith - ebbs and flows. 

It flexes and slacks; trusts and doubts. 

Sometimes faith is full on, all in, swelling up in our hearts and minds. 

Other times it’s hurt and hesitant, stamped out in our hearts, just faintly flickering below a pile of life’s mess.

The truth is there are days when I have to preach the truth to myself because my heart listens to lies.

There are days I doubt God’s goodness even though He’s proved it again and again. 

There are days when I feel alone and abandoned even though I know His presence is real. 

And folks, that’s faith. It waxes and wanes, ebbs and flows, rises and falls. 

Photo: Driftwood Beach at Jekyll Island by Jackson Burns

While we’re here on Earth, we are redeemed but not finished. We’re works in progress! Some days we have to fight for faith, and to portray this Christian journey with a fake filter of perfection ignores the grace of God that establishes and grows our faith.

It’s hard to embrace the mistakes and missteps. It’s hard to own up to my less-than-perfect seasons. I’m often tempted to fake my faith in front of my children. My heart sometimes whispers, Get it together, Hailey. You are a Jesus-following Mom. Your kids don’t need to see you grieving or scared or lonely or doubtful. Put on a smile and push through!

But when I do this, when all they see of me is the “got-it-together” look, they never get to see how real faith works. They never get to see how some days I’m faithless but God is always faithful. They never get to watch me run to God with doubts and questions and then find peace and rest in Him. When I use a fake filter for my faith, I’m robbing my kids of opportunities to see God rescue, reassure, and redeem me. 

Letting my kids (or anyone, for that matter) see me struggle is difficult for me. But I’m learning that it’s pretty important. A few days ago, as I was praying about this, I jotted down a few things in my journal. In case you struggle with this whole fake faith filter thing, I’ll share my scribbles with you…

Let them see you smile! The joy of the Lord is your strength.

Let them see you cry. Let the Lord bind up your broken heart.

Let them see you thrive. The roots of the righteous run deep.

Let them see you despair. Run to God for refuge and rest.

Let them see you pray. We talk to those we treasure. 

Let them see you read. God’s Word is your daily bread. 

Let them see you stretch. Faith isn’t required if you never step out of the boat. 

Let them see you work. Serving is loving.

Let them see you wait. Watch God work on your behalf. 

Let them see you love. This is the true mark of a disciple. 

Whether we like it or not, our kids are watching. Let them see how real faith works.

What Worked & What Didn’t (Part 2)

At the beginning of the new year, some people (ya know, like the people who really seem to have their lives together) spend time reflecting on the previous year, maybe evaluating their goals or thinking deep thoughts about how they’ve grown or changed (or barely survived?) over the past year. Me? I just make a quick list of things that worked and didn’t.

Last year, I had a few things that worked FABULOUSLY in 2024. Aaannnd a few things that didn’t. You can see my “Worked!” list HERE.

As for my “Didn’t Work” list… here we go…

Drawer of MVPs

Based on the number of charging cords we have, there’s a good chance there are more people living in this house than I’m aware of…

I’m telling you, it’ doesn’t matter what I do, I absolutely CANNOT find a way to keep up with all our device chargers. We started out letting each person keep up with their own chargers, but that situation deteriorated quickly when the kids kept “borrowing” (AKA stealing) mine because they couldn’t find theirs. (Plus, Pearl kept eating charging cords that the youngest left in random places on the floor. BTW, Pearl’s our dog.) So we decided to keep our MVCs all in one drawer (MVC = Most Valuable Chargers, like as in most often used).

Yes, the cords are now corralled into one drawer, but opening that drawer is like opening a can of pure frustration. You have to sort through the whole bunch to find the one you need; they’re all tangled together; and someone has probably taken the block plug off of yours anyway, so why try? Please tell me I’m not alone on this.

Better yet, please tell me there’s an organizational miracle out there that I just haven’t discovered yet! Either way, SEND HELP!

Candy as Rewards

It’s no secret that kids will do almost anything for free candy, especially at school. A teacher with a bucket of Jolly Ranchers is an instant celebrity. My 8th graders are particularly partial to Starbursts, and I’ve found that by simply placing a bowl of Starbursts at the front of my classroom, even the most apathetic student suddenly becomes motivated. There’s no shame in my game. Candy works wonders, and last year I used it often and unapologetically to bribe reward my students for their academic efforts.

But here’s the problem: it’s impossible to keep candy in my classroom.

Mainly because it gets eaten.

By me.

It doesn’t matter if it’s fun-sized chocolate bars, snack bags of Skittles, or the cheap-O Dum Dum lollypops. If candy is in my room, I eat it.

I tried all kinds of things to remedy this. I moved the candy bowl out of my desk and put it on the top of the bookshelves. Out of sight, out of mind, I thought. Nope. Fail.

I moved the bowl to the locked cabinet in the back corner of my classroom. If it requires unlocking the cabinet, I won’t bother with it, I reasoned. Wrong again. Candy, it turns out, is well worth a walk across the room and a few fumbles with a lock and key.

So this year, I’ve had to find other ways to bribe reward my kids. So far, stickers have been popular but cost prohibitive; random rounds of applause have proved funny but awkward, and promises of “Free Seat Fridays” have fallen flat. Candy seems to be king, but it’s a king I’m unwilling to allow back into my classroom. So if you have any suggestions for motivating middle schoolers, send them my way!

Covering Up the Gray

My grandmother had a full head of white hair in her thirties, and my mom rocks a beautiful salt and pepper mane in her sixties. Graying hair is in my genes. So last year, when Abie kept pointing out my gray hairs, I decided to look into having my hair dyed.

GOOD GOLLY, that’s expensive!! I had NO IDEA! I know many ladies have no qualms about coloring their hair, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s not just the money, though. It’s also the principle of the whole thing. As far as colors go, I have no problem with gray. Or with white, for that matter. The trouble comes from the fact that society tells women that gray = old, and old isn’t beautiful. I refuse to submit to that line of thinking. In fact, I’m more comfortable and content with my body now than I’ve ever been (even with my extra fluff, facial wrinkles and gray hair).

Aging is part of life, and it just means our bodies aren’t eternal. So the grayer my hair grows, the closer to Heaven I’m getting. I’m okay with that.

Yelling

Complete transparency here: sometimes I yell at my kids. (Just to clarify, I’m talking about my own kids, not my students.) Sometimes it’s because I’ve said the same thing fifty times and it seems like raising my voice might make them finally listen. Sometimes it’s because they’re extra naughty. Sometimes it’s because I’m extra tired and cranky. A lot of times, it’s because we’re arguing, and I’m trying to prove I’m right. For all kinds of different reasons, I yelled way too much in 2024. And honestly, 99% of the time, yelling results in no noticeable change in my kids’ thoughts or behavior. In fact, all it does is make me feel better and make them mad.

It reminds me of my dad’s friend Jeff, who knows little to no Spanish. On our mission trips to Mexico and Guatemala years ago, Jeff would pretend to speak Spanish by just adding an O to the end of his English words (as in “what’s your name-O?”). When the Spanish-speaking people didn’t understand him, he would just say the same thing, only louder. Over and over again, as if his increased volume would make them suddenly understand his Spanglish. Silliness!

But the same thing applies to yelling and parenting. If I’ve said it fifty times and my kid hasn’t understood or obeyed, then perhaps I need to try another tactic. Saying the same thing louder (and angrier) isn’t going to change things. Yelling isn’t going to make my kid have an instant change of heart or produce perfect behavior. I mean, am I actually expecting my kid to hear me yelling, stop, think, and then say, “Wow. You’re absolutely right, Mom. I’m so sorry for my stupidity and arrogance,” ?

Yeah, right. Not gonna happen.

This year, I plan to yell less. Instead, I’m reminding myself:

• I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

• I don’t have to participate in a power struggle. I’m already in charge.

• I don’t think, talk, or act my best when I’m angry.

• It is absolutely alright to send a kid (or myself) to another room to calm down and think.

I’m no parenting pro, but so far, so good! (Yes, I know it’s only mid-January. Don’t rain on my parade.) And I’m thankful God is patient with me because I’m still a work in progress.

Negativity

I teach in a smallish middle school, so my fellow teachers and I form a tight-knit tribe. We share each others’ joys and burdens. We laugh together. We cry together. And last year, we complained together. It was a difficult year for several different reasons, and we handled it by griping. Day after day, we seemed to get better and better at picking out the things that weren’t going right (and admittedly, there was plenty to choose from). The more we whined and complained, the more negativity just became our default position and perspective.

At some point in the spring of last year, God hit me over the head with the book of Philippians, and I realized that there is absolutely no good reason for a Jesus-follower to stay in “Gripe and Complain” mode. Yes, sometimes things are difficult. Yes, sometimes crappy things happen that are out of our control. But nothing takes God by surprise. Nothing happens outside of God’s sovereign control.

I also realized that a negative attitude is like a disease. Unchecked, it can take over your mind and rapidly infect others’, too. So mid-2024, I changed course. I started to look for the good and find the positive in the people and situations surrounding me. And if things were just all around bad, I thanked God that they weren’t worse. I started slowly learning what it meant to have the mind of Christ and to take my thoughts captive. The more I avoided negativity and consciously focused on the positive, the more the people around me started to do the same. And slowly our little teacher tribe crawled out of the hole we had dug for ourselves.

Oddly enough, at the end of the 2024 school year, my teacher peers chose me as Teacher of the Year. It was unexpected but wonderful - a very clear “God-wink,” as if God were saying, “stay the course. Focus on the things that are good, true, right, and lovely. Bloom where you are planted, regardless of the soil or weather or weeds. Keep on keeping on.”

I did, and I am.

What Worked & Didn’t in 2024 (Part 1)

It’s the beginning of a new year, so of course I know I should be reflecting and remembering and goal-setting and all that jazz. But honestly, all of that feels way too serious for today. So I’m copying an idea I saw from the writers over at Coffee+Crumbs discussing what DID and DIDN’T work over the past year. (Check out Coffee+Crumbs for yourself. You’ll quickly see why I was inspired.)

So, without further ado, here is my totally random and completely non-spiritual list of what DID work for me in 2024. (Check back next week for a list of what DIDN’T.)

(By the way, the links I use in this post are not affiliate links or anything. I’m not making any money by sharing these suggestions, although maybe one day…)

1. Hello Fresh 

My absolute least favorite household chores are meal planning and grocery shopping. I LOATHE them! In February we received a coupon to try out Hello Fresh, so we jumped on it. All I want to know is where has this been all my life?!?! Yes, it is more expensive than planning our own meals and buying our own ingredients, but I’m at the point in my life where it’s hard to put a price on my sanity. We don’t order a Hello Fresh box every week, but when we do, it’s worth every single penny.

2. Goodr Sunglasses 

I have to have sunglasses on when driving during daylight hours, but a good pair of sunglasses is hard to find (or afford). My sister gave me a pair of Goodr sunglasses last spring for my birthday, and I’ve never gone back. I love them! They work great in the car on sunny days, and they survive being borrowed and thrown around by the kids. They’re super cute, very affordable, and feel just right on my face (not too loose or too tight). Love them!

3. Iced Coffee in Bulk 

I love having coffee in the mornings, but there are a few things that make this challenging for me: 

• I don’t drink caffeine, so Decaf is a must.

• I’m SUPER picky about the flavor

• I’m partial to using fancy syrups, sweeteners, and creamers, so making my coffee concoction can take a minute in the mornings

• I don’t often get to finish drinking my coffee while it’s still hot (and luke warm is gross!)

So after struggling with my coffee habit for a few years, I finally concluded iced coffee was my best bet. Last January, I started making a large pitcher of coffee every Sunday night and keeping it in the fridge all week. Now, all I have to do on weekday mornings is pour some cold coffee over a (HUGE) cup of ice, add my creamer, and go! It’s pretty brilliant, if I do say so, myself.

4. Pics in my Journal

I’m a journal-er. I write in my journal a few nights every week. And I write all kinds of things - Scripture verses, Bible study notes, prayers, lists, recipes, events or conversations I want to remember - all kinds of things. This past year, I started adding photos from my phone to my journal, and I love it. It’s so cool to look back through my journal and be able to see pictures that go along with the memories I’ve recorded. I print the pictures with a neat little contraption called a Sprocket. (My mom gave me mine as a Christmas gift, but they go on major sale from time to time, so keep your eyes peeled!)  It works with an app on your phone where you can select and print specific pics onto photo paper. Then the back of the photo paper pulls off like a sticker! It’s quick, easy, and awesome. 

5. StepBet

I know goal setting is a good thing. And I can set goals with the best of ‘em. It’s the follow-through that always gets me. I have the best of intentions, but usually the lack of accountability makes it easy for me to fall off the wagon. This past fall, however, I tried out an app that helps you set a goal, track it, and achieve it all by providing the most motivating incentive ever - $$$. Basically, you pay a $40 join fee and the StepBet app uses your past fitness info (on your FitBit or AppleWatch or whatever) to help you set personalized daily and weekly step goals. Once you successfully complete the challenge within the established timeline, you “win” back your $40, plus you get to split the remaining pot with other members who successfully finished the challenge. You’re basically betting on yourself. I was determined to get back the $40 I had invested, and I did! I had days when I had to get on the treadmill at 10pm to meet my step goal. I even pushed myself to get my steps in on Christmas Day and the week after when I had pneumonia! It felt SO GOOD to set a goal, watch my progress, and succeed! I’m already signed up for a new StepBet challenge that starts soon. 

6. Baggie Drawer Organizer

Ok. This one is of those little things that makes a HUGE difference. All 5 of us pack our lunches every weekday. We try to use reusable containers as much as possible, but plastic baggies are still a necessary staple. (Especially for the youngest… anything I send will end up in the cafeteria trash can, so I might as well save myself some tears and use baggies.) My mom gifted me this cool set of baggie organizers so that I can fit all the different sizes in one drawer. This completely eliminates the frantic digging through the drawer to find the right size baggie, or the frustrated drawer slamming that happens when the box of baggies won’t fit back in the drawer right. Like I said, it’s a little thing that makes a HUGE difference.

So now, do tell! What worked for you this past year!

Don’t Forget to Remember

No one can ever prepare you for parenthood, but there were definitely some aspects of the new role I knew to expect. Sleepless nights, spit-up, snot… I was ready for those. But I was definitely NOT ready for my short term memory to go on sabbatical. At first, I thought it was just a symptom of pregnancy. However, after enduring 3 pregnancies, birthing 3 babies, and raising 3 littles, I can confidently affirm that “Mom Brain” is not just limited to pregnancy. Unfortunately, my memory has suffered a permanent blow. And even though I make lists like crazy, set reminders on my phone, and stick post-it notes everywhere, I still struggle to keep it all together. It’s tough to remember everything.

You might be surprised to know remembering is important to God. Each January at the beginning of a new year, I spend some time reading in Deuteronomy. Here, Moses readies the Israelites to enter the Promised Land. He shares God’s Ten Commandments with the Israelites and speaks to them about the importance of living God’s way. And several times during Moses’s speech, he mentions remembering God – not forgetting what He did and who He is. Check out a few examples:

“Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live.” Dt 4:9

“Be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt.” Dt 6:12

“Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands and laws.” Dt 8:11

See? Just a quick sampling of Deuteronomy reveals this central theme of remembering.

So what’s the big deal about remembering?

Well, after studying it, I’ve noticed a few things.

Remembering is linked to obedience, while forgetting is connected to disobedience.

Notice in Dt 8:11, Moses connects forgetting the Lord to failing to obey Him. It’s kinda like when I ask my kids to put away their laundry. Every once in a while (but not often, because I have perfect, angel children), they forget, and the job doesn’t get done. Is this intentional defiance? Are they refusing to obey? Not usually. Most often, the issue is that they simply forgot. And their forgetting leads to disobedience. But, if we’re honest and dig a bit further, we uncover a deeper issue:

Remembering reveals priority.   

We remember things that are important, right? Or at least we try our best to. If something is super important to me, I’m going to take all kinds of measures to make sure I remember it – putting it on my calendar (phone and print), writing it on my dry erase board in the kitchen, sticking a post-it note on the door or in my car… whatever it takes. If it’s important, I’m going to help myself remember. And I tend to remember things of importance that happened in the past. Remembering something reveals its importance. On the other hand, if I forget something, then it obviously wasn’t as important as the other things that occupied space in my brain.

(Now I understand that there are exceptions. I totally get how the tyranny of the urgent and the demands of the immediate can sometimes take over. But the majority of the time, in the usual rhythms of our normal day-to-day routines, we find ways to remember what’s most important to us.)

I think what Moses is trying to tell the Israelites (and us!) is that God – who He is and what He’s done – it’s worth remembering. God’s character and deeds should be of utmost importance in our daily lives and in our memories. And when God is top priority for us, then we remember what He’s done in the past. We remember His character. We remember His promises and laws. And we obey them.

All of that should be true. But is it? Sometimes I let other things creep in and take over. It’s not that I want to be forgetful and disobedient. It’s just that I get busy! And God knows that about me – about us. In fact, He warned the Israelites about that very thing:

“When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers to give you – a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, vineyards and olive groves you did not plant – then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord.” Dt 6:10-12

God knew what would happen when His people entered the Promised Land. He knew they would get comfortable, safe, happy, and busy. God knew. And He knows the same happens to us today. That’s why He wants us to remember.

And that’s why each January, I try to take time to reflect on what God has done around, in, and through me. What has God accomplished? What has He taught me? And how has He revealed His character to me throughout the past year?

What makes this remembering and reflecting ten times easier is my journal. All I have to do is flip back through the entries of the past year and I’m reminded of prayers He’s answered, Scriptures He’s taught me, and ways He’s shown me His faithfulness. Journaling isn’t always easy, and I definitely don’t journal every day. But journaling does help me sort out my thoughts, feelings, and prayers. And having a written record of God’s work in my life ends up being pretty cool. 

Whether you flip back through your journal, your sermon notes, your calendar or the pictures on your phone, make some time this week to remember God - to think back to who He’s been and what He’s done on your behalf. I think you’ll find that reflecting on His steadfastness in the past strengthens your faith as you wait for His faithfulness in the future. 

A Blast from the Past

You may or may not know that I’ve blogged off and on since 2011. Though it’s gradually morphed into a way to share my Bible study findings, it started out as a chronicle of life with my littles. Every now and again I enjoy reading back over posts from the past, especially ones from when the boys are little. 

Since we’re in the middle of Christmas Break (God bless it!!!), I thought I’d share an old entry from December of 2016 (when my kids were 6, 4, and 7 months). So enjoy this blast from the past!

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So, let’s just be real for a sec, here.

Just in case you need reminding (because I definitely do): the pictures you and I see on the internet and social media do not necessarily represent reality. Or at least ALL of reality.

Let me give you an example. See this picture?

Precious, right?! It was taken Saturday morning while we were all piled on the couch watching Christmas cartoons together.  I even posted this Hallmark family moment on my social media pages. What I DIDN’T post was that this “moment” truly only lasted about that long – a moment. Because immediately after I snapped this shot, Levi poked Abie’s cheeks too hard and she started bawling. Then Jackson got all big-brother-protective and kicked Levi off the couch, which caused a fist fight. See? The picture doesn’t represent all of reality.

So let’s be real. Christmas break is wonderful… and HARD! The last few days, it’s been too cold or rainy (or both) for the boys to go outside, thus my little house has been TORN. APART. The word MESS doesn’t really cover it. And I’ve found myself saying things like:

Levi, go put your pants on. We don’t run around the house naked.

Jackson, don’t pull on Abie’s ears. They’re both infected. Leave her alone.

Levi, take that frog back outside!

Jackson! No more tossing cheerios in the toilet!

And I’ve heard things like:

Mom! Tell him to stop! He just kissed me on my butt!

Mom! Levi just ate a rock!

Mom! The Christmas tree just fell over!

And I’ve done things like… buy a new heat/ac system. And replace the glass on our wedding picture. (It was a casualty of hallway bowling. ?!?! I know. You have so many questions. Me, too.)

Yay. Merry Christmas to me.

Adulting is hard.

Today, 15 minutes into nap time, I heard repeated strange yet loud thuds. I put Abie down in the pack-n-play and walked into the living room to investigate.

I find Levi (who had been sentenced to napping alone in his room due to some misbehavior earlier in the day) dressed in his fireman outfit, running across the room, jumping on the couch, and catapulting into the wall.

Over and over again.

Our brief conversation went like this:

Me: Levi! How does this qualify as a nap time activity?

Levi: Mom! I just wasn’t sleepy, so I thought this might make me tired.

Right.

So nap time ended early and the boys were bundled up and sent outside. And the brothers have played so well outside together in harmony, for about 20 minutes.

Until just now.

Jackson comes in the door and announces that Levi has called him Butt Face. For the 3rd time today.

I march outside to talk to Mr. Big-Mouth. With a strict stride and a serious face,  I plan to sternly warn him that any additional ugly talk will earn him soap in his mouth. But you tell me: could you keep a straight face reprimanding this little guy with his fuzzy bear-ear hat? The parenting struggle is real.

Pray for me, and maybe we’ll all survive Christmas break.

Update: Before I could even hit SAVE and PUBLISH on this blog post, Levi came in to talk.

Levi: Mom, do you like worms?

Me: Umm, I guess they’re ok. Why?

Levi: Well, I like them, and I just ate one! (smiling and walking back out the door)

Nice.

Emmanuel, God with Us

I still remember the first time it really hit me – the first time I got it – this Emmanuel thing. I was a high schooler, sitting alone in my room late one night during Christmas break. I had recently discovered The Message paraphrase version of the Bible, and I was reading various Christmasy passages in it. I read John 1:14, and it was pretty much life-changing.

The NIV version I was most familiar with says, 

“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” 

Somehow, The Message stated it differently enough to grab my attention and make me look closer:

“The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood.”

Whoa. So that’s what Emmanuel means. God WITH us – literally, living with us, among us. In our neighborhood; in the middle of our mundane moments and daily routine. Suddenly it was more real to me than it had ever been.

Ever had a moment like that? Where Scripture just comes alive and God gives you an understanding you’ve never had before? This particular ahh-ha moment was overwhelming and world-rocking for me. And I’ve never gotten over it.

Of all God’s amazing titles, Emmanuel: God with us, is probably my favorite. This is the very essence of the Christmas story. All the prophecies, all the characters, and the complete Christmas storyline exist to communicate this one truth: God became a man and lived on Earth. Jesus is Emmanuel: God with us.

This concept is completely unique to Christianity. In all other religions, people learn how to work hard enough and be good enough to earn their god’s love and attention. They spend all their lives gradually work their way up a mountain until they reach the favor of their god at the summit. 

But Christianity is totally different. In Christianity, God says, “you can’t be good enough to get to me. I’m coming to you.” In Christianity, we don’t work our way up to God. He comes down to us. 

Think about that for a minute.

God – the creator and sustainer of the entire universe – the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, limitless God – chose to make Himself a human and live among His own creation. The self-existent, self-reliant God came to Earth as a helpless baby, dependent on a teenage mom for everything. The King of Kings came to Earth to be born in a dirty stable among animals, to live a common life, and to die a criminal’s death.

“The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.” 

Regardless of your social status, your financial means, your relational struggles, your wins and losses, your joys and your sorrows, God came to be a part of it all. With you.

Not above you or separate from you. With you. 

Why? Why did God bother? Why in the world would God become flesh and blood and come live in all this mess? 

The answer is simple and startling. Through the birth of Jesus, God demonstrates to us His boundless love and mercy.

The Bible tells us that God is perfect. Righteous. Holy. And a perfect God cannot abide with sin. And a just God cannot ignore or excuse sin.

Enter: Jesus (AKA God’s love and mercy walking around with flesh and bones)

While on Earth, Jesus experienced all the trials and temptations that challenge any man, yet He lived a sinless life. His death on the cross was a substitute or payment for our sins. God accepted Jesus’ death on the cross in place of yours and mine.

We know all this, right? 

But at Christmastime, God reminds us of all this with the gift of His physical presence. Through that baby in a manger, He whispers again, “Don’t you see?  I didn’t wait for you to come to me. I came to you. And I’ll never leave you. That’s just how much I love you.” 

And THAT is what’s so amazing about the Christmas story. God came here with us to make way for us to be with Him forever. He came to show us His love. He came so we would never be alone. 

Jesus, Emmanuel, came to be God With Us. He left Heaven, became flesh and blood, and moved into your neighborhood.

Because He just loves you that much.

Merry Christmas.

Waiting & Watching with Expectation

I don’t know about you, but I have mixed feelings about Christmas. I love the weeks before because they’re filled with hope, excitement and anticipation. I just can’t wait for Christmas to get here! But at the same time, I kinda don’t want Christmas to actually arrive because once it’s here, it leaves. And then it’s like someone knocked the wind out of my sails. Am I the only one who feels like this?

*Sigh* Christmas is complicated. 

And Advent sort of is, too.

Advent involves both looking back and looking forward. It acknowledges the already and the not yet. And Advent includes grieving the dark and celebrating the light. In fact, I’ve only recently realized that, in order to properly understand and celebrate Advent, we must start in the dark.  

Only when we first understand darkness can we truly look forward to the coming of the real light. (You can read more about that HERE.)

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says it this way:

“The celebration of Advent is possible only to those who are troubled in soul, who know themselves to be poor and imperfect, and who look forward to something greater to come.”

Much of Advent is about looking forward to the coming of something greater. And we can look forward with complete confidence because the God who will deliver in the future is the same God who has already delivered in the past.

Christmas - the birth of Jesus - is the ultimate confirmation of God’s faithfulness. And the ultimate fulfillment of that same faithfulness is still to come. So looking back enables us to look forward with certain anticipation and sure expectation.

And though waiting can be tough, expectation can be exciting! And motivating! And energizing! 

And tiring. 

It can be hard to live in a prolonged season of endless expectation. Over time, our expectation inevitably turns to exhaustion, and we stop watching and waiting. This must have happened to the Israelites who were waiting for the coming Messiah. After a few hundred years of complete silence from Heaven, God’s people stopped waiting and watching. They quit expecting Him to come. And when he did, they missed it.

In fact, only a select few noticed the humble birth of the infant messiah: a teenage mother and her husband, some shepherds, and some studious star-gazers from the East. 

Not much is known about the magi or wise men other than the fact that they brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. (3 gifts - that’s why many think there were 3 wise men.) Historians and commentators generally believe these academic men came from Persia (or the surrounding area) and were astrologers (or studiers of the stars). When they saw the evidence of the strange new star in the sky, they knew something big was coming. In fact, they were so confident of a miraculous event that they packed up, followed the star, and arrived in Jerusalem prepared to witness something or worship someone important.

These men had the privilege of meeting God as a baby simply because they were waiting, watching, and expecting. They were ready. The ironic thing is that every Israelite who knew the Old Testament should have been waiting and watching for a coming Messiah, too. But most missed it.

In the gospels, Jesus warns his disciples to wait and watch diligently – to not lose heart or fall asleep.  Jesus also reminds his disciples, and us, that God is always at work. Even when we don’t see it, God is constantly working around us. He’s on the move! But sometimes it doesn’t seem that way. 

Sometimes it’s hard to see evidence of God’s hand at work, and maybe it’s because we expect so little of Him. Maybe if we reminded our hearts more often of His limitless power and constant presence, we would more easily notice the evidence of His work.

One of my favorite Psalms to pray is a prayer of David’s. It says:

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3)

Did you get that? David not only prays, but he then WAITS IN EXPECTATION. David believes God will answer. He EXPECTS God to answer. So he waits and watches for God to move. Why don’t we do the same?

Maybe the reason we don’t constantly, actively wait and watch for God to move is because we don’t really expect Him to.

Maybe there’s a direct link between how well we know Jesus and what we expect of Him. The less we know Him, the less we expect. The more we know Him, the more we expect of Him. In fact, the better we know Him, the more we expect to have our expectations absolutely blown out of the water!

The wise men noticed the star, followed it, and found God at work, all because they were EXPECTING a miracle. With everything in them, they believed that whatever heavenly being controlled the sky spoke to man through the stars. And they were certain the sudden, unexplained appearance of this new star meant the Divine had big things in store. These men were waiting and watching for something miraculous.

And today, that same sense of excited anticipation and hopeful expectation is why we decorate for Christmas earlier and earlier every year. We love Christmas Day, but the weeks leading up to it are just as important. Why? Because it brings us warmth, joy, and fulfillment to look forward to something we KNOW is coming. To anticipate something amazing and good and life-changing. To expect something that is certain and strong and steady. And then to have our expectations met and even exceeded! That’s what Christmas is all about.

And Advent, too! The looking back on Christmas each year enables us to look forward to Jesus coming again. 

And He IS coming. 

Are you waiting and watching in expectation? 

Live in the Light

I love Christmas lights. As a kid, one of my favorite parts of Christmas was putting up our outdoor Christmas lights with my Dad. There were always blown bulbs, strands that refused to work, or tangled strings, but the end result was always worth the frustration and the cold fingers.

Now, as an adult, one of my favorite places to be this time of year is in my den, sitting in the dark next to the lit Christmas tree. The lights just give off a warmth that’s hard to describe. It’s hard to imagine Christmas time without lights.

In my last blog post, I wrote about the opposite of light - darkness. And the Bible talks about darkness a lot.

In Isaiah 9:2, darkness represents life before the Messiah’s coming. In Isaiah’s prophecy, “those who lived in darkness” are those who lived before the advent of the Messiah.

 In Ephesians 5:8, darkness represents sin and separation from God. As sinners, we all started out “in darkness” because our sins separated us from God. We live in the darkness until we have a love relationship with Jesus Christ.

 In 1 John 1:5, darkness represents anything that opposes God.  God is light, the opposite of darkness. Since God is perfect, righteous, and holy, darkness represents the opposite –  sin of any and every kind.

I could go on, but you get the point. If not for God’s miraculous intervention, we would still live in darkness. Christmas lights wouldn’t be a thing. Christmas wouldn’t even be a thing. Whether we realize it or not, our souls long for light and life. And Christmas is God’s answer to this.

The good news of the gospel – the amazing thing about the birth of Jesus – is that those who have lived in darkness (that’s us!) now have light! Thanks to Jesus’s birth, our lives can now be filled with truth, purpose, love… and LIGHT! We don’t have to live in the darkness any longer! We can live in the LIGHT!

It doesn’t take a science degree to realize that light is essential to life. Not many things can live, grow, and thrive without light. In fact, we would have no food without light! (Can you imagine life without chocolate and coffee?!)

Jesus came to give light to a dark world. The light He offers is His own life – lived sinlessly, laid down sacrificially, and revived victoriously!

But here’s the thing:

Just like a person can choose to leave the lights off and sit in complete darkness, so too can a person choose to ignore Jesus and live life without light, without meaning, without love.  And just like we have the ability to turn the lights in our homes off and on at will, so too can we choose to live God’s way or our way each day. Living in the light is a choice – a conscious decision, an intentional action.

My kids are lousy light-turner-offers. Each time they enter a room, they turn the light on. And they leave it on when they leave. Every. Single. Time. The monthly power bill is usually a pretty good indicator of how diligent I’ve been monitoring the light situation at home. 

Did you know the Bible gives us an indicator to know if we’re walking in the light or not? 

Check out 1 John 2:9-10:

“Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light.”

Pretty simple. If you and I claim to love Jesus and claim to live in His light, then our lives ought to be marked by love. If we’re not living lives of love, then we’re not living in the light.

Light = Love. 

And the best way to love others is to show them and tell them about the light and life Jesus brings.

Start in the Dark

Soon the season of Advent will be upon us. I’ve always loved the season of Advent, for several reasons. Not only is the season full of festive excitement for the upcoming holiday, but it’s also a time of clear and calm focus. For me, Advent is a time to concentrate on and appreciate the gift God has given us in Jesus. It’s a time to celebrate the already and look forward to the not-yet. The message and center of Advent is deeply profound yet gloriously uncomplicated; it’s truly wonderful but oh, so simple. 

Stemming from the Latin word adventus, advent denotes a sense of hope-filled waiting for a coming or arrival. Different denominations celebrate it in different ways, but in general, Advent is a season where believers celebrate the birth of Jesus and anticipate His second coming. Our family has always attended a Baptist church where we celebrate the Sundays of Advent by lighting candles on an Advent wreath and focusing on the hope, peace, and joy we have through Jesus. 

Despite the normal holiday business, Advent is still a time of rest for my soul. Each year during Thanksgiving break, I find and buy a new Advent devotion book to use during my December quiet times. This year is no different, except I started my book search a bit early. While scouring Christian bookstores and reading book reviews online last week, I ran across a book written by Fleming Rutledge, a female Episcopal priest and author. In her book Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus, Rutledge writes: 

 “Advent begins in the dark and moves toward the light.”

I read the quote several times and shook my head. My initial thought was, “she’s wrong. Advent is a time to focus on the light Jesus brings!” And though I was pretty sure I was right (as usual), I still couldn’t escape that quote. It has been rumbling around in my mind for days. 

 “Advent begins in the dark.”

 “Advent begins in the dark.” 

I have to admit, the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced she’s right (and I’m wrong, which happens more often than I’d like). 

Advent does start in the dark! Let me explain…

Stubborn and self-reliant as we humans are, the way to get us to value something is to show us our need for it. Let’s face it: if I’m not totally convinced that I need something, then I’m not buying it. I’ll do just fine without it. This reminds me of an illustration I heard Kirk Cameron use at a conference I attended. It went something like this…

If you’re like most plane passengers, you don’t really listen when the stewardess gives the whole “your seat is a flotation device” safety speech prior to take-off, mostly because you don’t anticipate needing a flotation device during a flight. But what if one flight was different? What if you got on the plane without the option of leaving, and the pilot told you the plane was absolutely, positively going to crash into the ocean in mid-flight? Suddenly, the safety speech becomes much more important! You’re going to want to know all about how your seat cushion can become a float. What changed? The speech the stewardess gives is the exact same. Why are you listening now? Because you know you need that information. Learning about that flotation device now has life or death implications.

Appreciation for the birth and coming of Christ works in the same way. It starts with a strong conviction that Jesus brought (and will bring) the very thing we so desperately need but can’t provide for ourselves. Without that conviction, Advent has no significance. 

So it “starts in the dark” because, for Advent to mean anything at all, for Advent to matter, we first must acknowledge the darkness around us and the darkness in us. In order to celebrate the coming of a Savior, we have to admit our need for one.

We don’t need advent if we don’t need saving. 

We don’t need light if we’re not in the dark. 

We won’t celebrate the hope he offers if we aren’t hopeless on our own.

So a truly reflective season of advent shouldn’t start with the birth of Jesus. It shouldn’t start with the light of the world. It shouldn’t start with hope, peace, and joy.

It should start in the dark. 

Advent should start with sin, with desperation and despair. Advent should begin by seeing that we are badly broken and completely hopeless and utterly lost without a Savior. Only then can we properly celebrate Jesus coming to do what we cannot do for ourselves. 

As this advent season approaches, before you settle in to remember the birth of Jesus and anticipate His second coming, stop for a moment and stand in the dark.

Remember who you were before Christ. 

“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you used to walk when you conformed to the ways of this world” (Eph 2:1) 

Look around you. See the sad state of this world without Jesus.

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands;  there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away,they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Rom 3:10-12)
Look within you. Acknowledge the sinful desires that still lurk in your heart. 

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Rom 7:18)

Start this advent season with the darkness, and then you will appreciate the light all the more.

A Hard Amen

Everyone has their own traditions for celebrating this season of giving thanks. For me, when Thanksgiving rolls around, I definitely look forward to the food and time with family (not in that order, of course), but two other things also come to mind around this time of year. 

One is the song “Gratitude” by Nichole Nordeman. (You can listen to it here.) The other is a passage in Habakkuk chapter 3. And it never fails: when I revisit each of these every year, I want to raise my hands and shout “Amen!” One of my classes even read and analyzed the lyrics to the “Gratitude” song this week, and after reading it aloud to them, with tears in my eyes, I said, “Amen,” to which one of my students said, “what does Amen mean anyway?”

His question took me by surprise (middle schoolers have a way of keeping you on your toes), but I was delighted to take the opportunity to explain that Amen is a way of concluding or closing out a blessing or prayer. Amen is a way of saying, “Yep! I wholeheartedly agree” or “So true! Let it be so!” We say Amen when we want to affirm something or show our agreement, but saying it isn’t always pleasant or easy. Sometimes saying Amen is difficult.  We may affirm the truth of something in our heads and give an Amen from our mouths while our hearts, meanwhile, are grieving or doubting. Some Amens are hard.

That’s the way it is with both the Nordeman song and the Habakkuk passage. Both talk about an aspect of thankfulness we often gloss over until it comes around uninvited - giving thanks when we don’t get what we want or think we need. 

Nordeman’s song says, 

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight.

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs.

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time.

Or maybe not, not today.

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view

If no roof is overhead

And if we never taste that bread

What a hard Amen…to give thanks when

what He gives isn’t what I want and

He stays silent and my heart says

my deepest desires are not yet met.

The prophet Habakkuk, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote about the same thing much longer ago:

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Hab 3:17-18)

What a hard Amen…to give thanks when 

my work doesn’t seem to pay off so

I don’t see how I’ll make ends meet.

I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and 

I don’t know how this could possibly work out. 

Every year, I’ll listen and read and say Amen, but it’s not easy. It’s a hard Amen. It’s hard to understand why God chooses to act or not act in certain ways at certain times. It’s hard to trust what you can’t see. It’s hard to make your heart listen to your head when you’re hurt and confused. It’s hard to trust when you feel like God’s holding out on you. 

But a hard Amen is still an Amen. A tough Amen still says, Yes, Lord, may it be so. Your truth is truth, despite what my circumstances say. You stay the same, regardless of the changes around me. You are good even when my feelings say otherwise. 

This Thanksgiving, you might be like me.  I’m in a good place right now. I’m comfortable and have much more than I need or deserve. Life is ridiculously (crazy, but still) easy for me. Giving thanks and an Amen is easy. But returning to the message of this song and passage yearly (at least!) is crucial because it fertilizes the soil of my soul, strengthening my faith so that I can stand when the storms come. 

Or maybe this Thanksgiving, you’re in a tough spot. Life might not be easy or comfortable right now. Giving thanks and an Amen is the last thing you want to do. Your mind might acknowledge God’s truth, but your heart doubts and despairs. It’s ok. Say the hard Amen. Read His Word and pray that God would align your heart with His truth. Because the truth is, even when the efforts are fruitless, the heart hurts or the bank account’s empty, we can still give thanks for who God was, is, and will always be. Amen.